McGill renamed Harvard of the North

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Subject: McGill renamed Harvard of the North
McGill renamed Harvard of the North
Katie Fugler

Issue date: 4/1/03 Section: McGill Weekly
PrintEmail Article Tools Page 1 of 1 McGill University has been renamed Harvard of the North as a condition of the poor but prestigious Montreal university´s sale to its richer Ivy League rival, Boston´s Harvard University.

"As Canada´s most research-intensive university, McGill is home to an impressive number of superb scholars and outstanding students and staff," said McGill Principal Heather Munroe-Blum, while shaking Harvard President Lawrence H. Summers´ hand after handing over the titles to McGill´s downtown and Macdonald campuses. "We have already been using the term ´Harvard of the North´ in much of our promotional material, so this seemed like a logical fundraising choice."

Munroe-Blum cited a study that found that Quebec universities were underfunded by $375-million, while Harvard´s endowment is greater than Canada´s gross national product.

"We´re poorer because we´re very constrained on other channels for revenue generation," said Munroe-Blum, who grinned like the Cheshire cat as she accepted Harvard´s cheque.

"This money may let us begin construction of the new Music building," Munroe-Blum ann-ounced, although Dean of Music Don McLean muttered that Peter Trent would get his city back and the Expos would win the World Series before the first backhoe hit the ground.

William C. Kirby, dean of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences, said during the wine and cheese reception, "The inferior Canadian dollar, combined with the lower tuition rates, the metropolitan joie de vivre of Montreal and Canada´s relative safety from terrorist attacks make this an opportunity that Harvard could not pass up."

While students graduating this year will not receive Harvard degrees, Munroe-Blum said McGill is offering a consolation prize.

"We are giving out the leftover t-shirts from last year´s frosh week--so as long as you wear it to job interviews, everyone will still recognize that you attended McGill, the Harvard of the North."

This is not the first time that McGill has engaged in cross-branding. This year, the University began to offer McGill diplomas via Universitas 21. Also, during the mid-1990s budget crunch, former McGill principal Bernard Shapiro sought the aid of his twin brother Harold, who was then president of Princeton University in New Jersey. However, the new names for the schools, "McGill of New Jersey" and "Princeton of the Tundra", caused application rates to plummet.

In related news, Queen´s University is planning to sue Maclean´s for libel and McGill for antitrust violations, but in the meantime, the school in Kingston, Ontario, has partnered with Texas A&M.

"We hear they have sheep," said Queen´s Principal William C. Leggett, who licked his lips in anticipation.

[14-06-2007,06:43]
Anonymous
(in reply to: McGill renamed Harvard of the North)
Finally! mcgill has at last realised its true destiny! I must move to montreal asap! (I was planning on moving to moose jaw but now...?!)
[04-07-2007,08:07]
Anonymous



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